Friday Links

Since this is a blog, I'm required by blog statute to put up a links post. This was the best I could do to meet the requirements. Enjoy:

Clearly these sad, sad people missed the epic Filipino prison version.

Will Ferrell is the funniest USC football fan alive. That includes you, Snoop Dogg. 

I've heard rumors that Obama's planning on flying back to Chicago tonight to trick or treat with his daughters. Imagine the doorbell ringing and having Barry at the door. Beats Old Crazy showing up. 

The New York Knickerbockers are undefeated and tied for first place! I hate the Knicks, but it's hard to root against a team that's been as bad as the Knicks have been during the Isaiah era. Unfortunately, their new coach has already developed a testy relationship with the home fans. Oh, New York sports fans, you make it so easy to hate you. 

Lastly, any posting of links is not complete without some mention of lolcats.  Have you seen the lolcats bible? "Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem."  Soooo funny.

Crazy Talk

Apparently some Hillary supporting yahoo (see above) thinks that Obama wasn't born in the US and is an Indonesian citizen. He's so convinced that he filed suit in federal district court in Pennsylvania in an attempt to bar Obama from winning the presidency. The judge rejected the claim but crazy says he's appealing to the Supreme Court. Considering the current political leanings of the Supreme Court, I wouldn't be surprised if they granted cert and turned this election into a freakshow. Oh le no.

I <3 Corporations

So, as I typically do, I stumbled in late and groggy to my 9:55 Corporations class this morning. Instead of the usual monotonous discussion of fiduciary duties, agency, and mergers, we're doing prediction markets for corporate governance. You're thinking, what the hell is that and why is that better than the usual class?

Basically, my professor is doing research in this area and we're doing an exercise to illustrate how it works by applying it to this election. The classroom has turned into the floor of the New York Stock Exchange, with people buying and selling $100 shares of Obama's presidency, voter turnout percentages, the winner of the Al Franken Senate race, and number of GOP Senate seats.

If Obama wins, my $100 shares are worth their $100. If he loses, they're worth as much as Al Gore's beard. So far I've dumped all my voter turnout stock (they're worth something if turnout is over 60%) because, let's face it, Americans are lazy. I've bought up stock on Al Franken losing and the GOP winning more than 40 Senate seats. I'm holding onto my Barry stock because Barry's a winner.

We'll see what happens. Oh, and my prof is teaching the class with a Wizard hat on. Such a badass.

Tea + Bags = Humor

I will go to the ends of the earth to find ways to humiliate members of my beloved fantasy football league. Last night, I checked the scoreboard to see what was going on with my team. I happened to notice this score:  Black Santa 68 - Texas T 98

As any asshole would do, I hastily posted on the league message board something about my friend Nick getting Texas T-bagged by my friend Pat.  Now, teabagging is nothing to joke about (as shown here).  Still, I could think of no better way to capture the domination suffered by Nick at the hands of his younger brother.  In an effort to enhance Nick's pain through video illustration of teabagging, I discovered this little gem.  Enjoy! 

PS- Don't worry, it's not obscene and can be viewed at work. For those of you who are impatient, fast forward to the 1:30 mark but know that the setup is part of the fun.

Google Rocks

Check out this sweet election gadget from those badasses at google. Just be careful. If you click on states too many times, they'll turn red and we'll end up with Old Crazy as our next President. Unfortunately blogger's layout won't allow the whole country to show up, but you get the point. At least for once, the east coast has to take a backseat to the west coast. 

I'm Afraid of the State of Ohio

Actually, I'm afraid of Ohio State University's football team. I mean, I'm not worried they're going to climb through my window, drag me out to the football field, and tape me naked to the goalposts. It's just that Penn State has a chance to win the national championship. They haven't been in this position since 1994 (back when JoePa was merely 67).  Ohio State and their well-paid and underclassed players stand in the way. 

I honestly have no idea what's going to happen. Penn State hasn't beaten OSU at The Horseshoe since 1978 (back when JoePa was 51). PSU has run through their Big Eleven schedule with ease but that's about as impressive as McCain winning Nebraska. Meanwhile, the Buckeyes have looked like a juggernaut ever since they inserted Terrelle "Benedict" Pryor into the lineup following their pasting at USC. 

My hope is that Penn State stops Pryor and then sends JoePa out to pasture with another national championship. That won't happen if they don't get past Ohio State. It's going to take a lot of defense, the best of the Spread HD, and some of that JoePa spirit. I think they can do it. If they do, they'll be partying like it's 1978. 

Halloween (the movie)

For some absurd reason, Halloween is my favorite movie.  Once October rolled around, I scanned tvguide.com for upcoming screenings. The first showing was tonight. I planned my entire weekend around being in front of a TV at 8pm ET so I could be enthralled by two hours of Jamie Lee Curtis running for her life.  Those two hours are now sadly over.  

The results? Countless dead bodies, one stolen headstone, multiple false Michael Myers death alarms, and too many horny teenagers to keep track of.  Jerry Bruckheimer take note, this is the formula for horror movie gold.