Wednesday, September 30, 2009


Blog blog blog blog blog. Blog blog. Blog? Blog.

I don't really know what to do with this thing. I don't like to talk about myself unless it's in an entirely self-deprecating fashion. I could post my musings on the world around me, but who really cares what I think (besides me, of course)? I could write about the failures of my beloved Redskins but that would just be depressing.

We're coming up on the one year anniversary of the beginning of this blog. I need to find something entertaining to do with it.

I know! I could draw a single cartoon with different, silly text every day! I could have a main character and a couple of secondary characters. They could be, I don't know, DINOSAURS!!! That would be awesome, you guys!

Wait, what? Somebody already did that? I have a link to it on my blog? Oh goddammit.

Alright, alright. Let's think. I want this thing to be amusing for people other than has to be different from other blogs...hmmm...I know. I'll write about ridiculous things that happen in the world. These could be good or bad.

Today, I will focus on the good. My awesome former roommate alerted me to the opening of the Harry Potter theme park. Plans can be seen here. This is ridiculous. IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE!!! Bar trip? I think so. Bringing my own wand? Definitely. Going to get laid? Certainly not. (But in a just world, I'd have a chance with Hermione)

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Interview Fail

As a 3L without a job, I'm forced to take interviews for jobs I don't really want. One of those interviews occurred today. Not good.

Bad sign number 1: neither interviewer was wearing a wedding ring. So yes, that's kind of weird that I check those sorts of things but it's a basic quality of life issue. If they're married, they have time for family and such. That's important to me. If not, they either got divorced because their work sucked so much or they were too busy to date. They seemed like they could have fit in either category. Not good.

Hold on, douchey 1L at 12 o'clock. Trying to impress table full of girls. I'm glad to see the torch of douchey 1L's has been passed on.

Bad sign number 2: the first interviewer saying that I'll be the most cultured person in their office. That might seem flattering but I think it shows a basic lack of worldliness which I find disconcerting.

Bad sign number 3: the second interviewer telling me that the interview will be conducted entirely as a hypothetical. I'm not totally opposed to hypotheticals but I'd rather answer questions about my background (which I find interesting).

Bad sign number 4: when the hypothetical revolved around areas of law that I have no recollection of! Ah, the joys of being a 3L and FORGETTING EVERYTHING YOU LEARNED DURING YOUR FIRST TWO YEARS OF LAW SCHOOL!!!

Bad sign number 5: when they told me, "don't tell me what we want to hear, tell us what you would actually do." I did that and it was pre-tty clear that they preferred the answer they wanted to hear. I'm cool with it though. They asked me a moral question and I gave them a moral answer that I will always stick by (the question was whether the Redskins rule. I answered "Of course!!!" Although, let's be honest, they suck).

I don't think I'll be getting a call back. But you know what? THEY WON'T BE GETTING A CALL BACK FROM ME EITHER!!! That's right, SUCK IT, JOB THAT I WON'T DISCLOSE ON MY BLOG!!!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Work Fail

Pardon the extreme blog fail. I started class, a new internship, and spent the weekend camping. Life sometimes gets in the way of virtual writing. Shocking, I know.

Anyway, I started said internship yesterday. When I arrived, I was informed that my boss is out of town. For the next two weeks.

They have no work for me (or the other intern). I've been sitting here in my fancy suit finding new and creative ways to waste time. Mostly, this involves reading about the Redskins.

Normally, I would welcome such a work fail. I strongly fear, though, that the absence of work will turn into a plethora of busy work. I did not go to law school to do busy work. I went to law school to do grunt work.

Dear internship,

Do not rob me of the opportunity to do soul-crushing grunt work. There is a pulse of soul inside me. I do not know what to do with it. Please stamp it out immediately.

Love Always,