MURDERED!

I'm killing this blog. I don't particularly enjoy writing about myself and am pretty wary of saying something that puts me in hot water (that said, I have SO MUCH to say about certain people and certain things, oh well). From here on out, treat this thing as you would a serial killer in a horror movie; it's dead, with a chance of return.

Since this is my last post, I'll update my life to this point:

1. I graduated from law school:

Bittersweet. VERY bittersweet. I worked my ass off to graduate and did pretty well over the last few semesters, but am jobless and uncertain about what exactly I want to do now. I'd always assumed that something would click in law school and make me say: "I really want to do this for the rest of my life," but that never happened. I'm keeping my options open at this point (while excluding all private sector work...).

2. I suffered through senior week and graduation weekend:

Due to a writing project that I was working on with a professor, I did not finish until after exam period. I'd already completed the project, but we were still putting final touches on the project. That meant that when I was supposed to be celebrating with my friends, I was stuck in the undergrad library. Not fun.

By the time senior week rolled around, I was wiped and a bit under the weather. I did my best to put on a happy face, but it was a pale one.

Grad weekend itself was brutal. My parents went through an ugly divorce while I was in law school and things really deteriorated between them over the last year. I spent most of the weekend focusing on ways to keep my parents/step-parents apart in a futile attempt to keep the peace. That added up to a celebration FAIL.

3. I completed the Maryland bar application:

Like everything in life, I put this off to the last minute. I didn't have time to do it while I was doing everything I needed to do to graduate. After that, I was stuck in my senior week/graduation quagmire. So, the day after graduation, I finally started working on the sixty page Maryland bar application.

I imagine that it takes most people a significant chunk of time to complete the bar application. If you add a Saab 900 with a broken speedometer to the mix, it becomes crushingly time-consuming. Between making calls to random jurisdictions between DC and Cleveland (along my ticket-riddled drive to college...) and trying to track down notaries, I just barely got my application in time to actually sit for the bar exam.

4. I had five days without an obligation of any kind:

So, I went to the beach with my closest male friends from school. We proceeded to get hammered, eat crab, play putt-putt, get more hammered, watch The Saint, and generally destroy all hope of being well-rested for our bar classes. That was good times.

5. I began my online bar course:

I chose to use Themis to study for the bar. It was half the price of Barbri and I had read enough antitrust cases involving Barbri that I felt I should help the little guy. We'll see if I made the right choice on November 5th, when the Maryland bar results come out.

In all seriousness, I think the substance of the course was solid. I felt I learned a lot and after the test felt like I had been sufficiently prepared.

My big complaint is that they scheduled in an impossible amount of work, which I think added significantly to my level of stress. Continually failing to complete your allotment of daily tasks can be disheartening. I assume they want to be able to say to people, "well, if you had completed all of your assignments, we are confident that you would have passed."

That's exactly the sort of thinking that pervaded my law school experience. Instead of focusing on each student learning the material to the best of their ability, the focus was on forcing everyone to adhere to an archaic system of learning that may or may not have any bearing on what sort of lawyer or test-taker they produce. Just as GW adapted Harvard's use of the Socratic Method, Themis adapted Barbri's use of the Bombardment Method. Is there no better way? Are lawyers incapable of deducing a variety of methods to create better students and advocates? Meh, that's a subject for a full post of its own (if this blog wasn't facing imminent termination...).

6. I took the Maryland bar exam:

It was hard, but fair. I felt like I did a very solid job with all ten essays. As for the MPT, it was not difficult but I only left myself sixty minutes to complete what's supposed to take ninety and thus wasn't able to say everything I wanted to say. Hopefully, it wasn't a big deal.

The MBE sucked. I slept like an angel after the first day and felt that the only thing that could prevent a pass would be a complete meltdown on the MBE. I don't think I had a meltdown but had trouble focusing and as a result, I worked much slower than usual. I didn't get to ten questions, so just filled in "B," like my barbri friends told me to. Hopefully those questions will get tossed or they mercifully come up "B." We'll see, I guess.

Regardless, I'm proud of how hard I worked and how I performed on the exam day. If I failed, it will not be for lack of preparation.

7. I went to the drunken olympics:

Yes, I'm now a two-time drunken olympian. My first go-around was a failure, as I didn't drink nearly enough to compete. I put in a much stronger showing this year, but my team still came up short (I'm still not sure how that's possible, considering how many events we "won"). Although I battled some not-so-fun hangovers, I didn't get sick or commit any major crimes. Surely I deserve a medal of some sort for that.

8. What's next:

Who knows! I'm taking some short trips but not an actual bar trip. My main focus will be figuring out my career situation. Normally I would blog about any major decisions but this thing is DEAD! Thus, if you want to know what's going on with me, give me a call or find me on gchat. Thanks for stopping by Pay the Money and Take a Shot!

Done?

So, I turned in my last draft of my last law school essay last Tuesday night. I then hightailed it to North Carolina for a few days of R and R with my law school crew. While I was there, my grades trickled in. It looks like I'm actually going to graduate. Really?

I think I'm still in the shock and denial phase of the seven stages of recovering from law school grief. My transcript says I'm done, but part of me won't believe it until I'm holding the diploma in my hand and it has my name on it. Until then, I'll be celebrating, but not running-through-the-streets-naked celebrating. I'll save that for when I pass the bar.

Golden!

I turn 29 today at 3:23 a.m. Let's all hope that it's a golden day.

As for this blog, I have lots to blog about, most of which I'm keeping to myself until after graduation. Let's just say that it's going to get pretty saucy up in here starting on May 17th.

And what are my birthday plans, you ask? Go to my class at 3:50, maybe dinner out, and then paper writing in the libs! Yaaaaay! I love writing papers on my biiiiiirthday!!!!

It's cool, though. I threw a lovely birthday party for myself before prom and received a smashing serenade of happy birthday from my friends. That was good enough times for ten birthdays. Thanks, glorious section 12'ers!

Mexico, Bitches!!!

It's 5:53AM. My flight for Philadelphia leaves at 7:30AM. My connecting flight to...wait for it...CANCUN, leaves at 9:45AM. I'm due to arrive in Cancun at 12:45PM. I then have to make my way to a ferry which will take me to Isla Mujeres (the Isle of Women...I'm not kidding).

Who/what will meet me once I get off the ferry? One Daniel James M. Well, that's if he's not too preoccupied with seeing his girlfriend for the first time since he left for Mexico (I'm not his girlfriend...yet). My instructions? Buy a bottle of liquor at duty-free. Will I survive this trip? I hope so.

While I have the floor, I would like to give some serious kudos to security at BWI. I left my brother's place in Baltimore at 4:30AM for a 7:30AM flight, because I was convinced that it would take me forever to get through security. It took me ten minutes to get through security and that was even with a line that was probably 100 people deep. I was at my gate by 5:30. Seriously, awesome. Now I just have to figure out how to kill time until my flight.

That brings me to my next point. I'm blogging for free right now because Google gave me (and everyone else at BWI) free WiFi for the holidays. I know what you're thinking, "didn't the holidays end two weeks ago?" Yes, yes they did. But Google kindly put the end date of their gift as today, January 15, 2010. Sweet.

PS- As a follow-up to my previous post, I got my grade back for my antitrust exam. I am happy to report that I did extremely well. I know that it's poor form to brag about grades, but law school has been tough for me. I've worked really hard and often not gotten the results I wanted. It was nice to finally see my hard work pay off.

The trick? I did my own outline and finished it in time to take a practice exam and go over my answers with the professor's model answers.

When I first looked at his answer key, my heart dropped a little bit. I finally figured out my problem on law school exams; I was going WAY too much into detail on individual subjects instead of plowing through all the possible areas you can get points. That means I left a lot of points on the table.

Oh well. At least I figured it out on my second to last law school exam ever. If only I'd figured it out sooner! Maybe this semester I'll figure out how to write awesome papers. I better, because I have four to write. Rough.

PPS- Happy MLK weekend, everyone!

Ridiculously Something

So, one of the awesomest aspects of gchat (and let's be honest, law school) is the plethora of distracting gchat statuses that fill up hours of law school boredom. Today, I was stunned to find THIS link on one of my more conservative friends' status messages.

First of all, this is really explicit. Whatever, I wasn't offended by it or anything, but I was a little surprised that Above the Law chose to run it. I would feel so, so bad for the girl who wrote that if she was exposed because of it (no pun intended, I swear).

That said, whoa boy, that dude is in for some serious, serious loving. Somebody needs to tip that guy off, because that sort of legal writing should not go to waste. At the very least, the Supreme Court should grant cert. That just might be the thing that finally puts Justice Scalia out of commission...

Ridiculously Good

I hate most of my law school textbooks. Usually, they're cobbled together by some prof who's overly obsessed with the nuances of an overwritten opinion from the 1630's. They change one page each year and then charge you an arm and a leg to buy the "new edition." If I had the grades to be a law school professor, I would, just so I could cash in on the textbook selling boom.

Once in a long while, a book comes along that bucks the boring trend. This happened recently when I opened up my new Trusts & Estates textbook and saw a picture of Marilyn Monroe. I thought to myself, hmmm, that's odd. A picture of a sexy actress in a textbook. Yeah, she's long dead, but that certainly beats staring at the pile of hair that Justice Cardozo called his eyebrows.

I flipped through the pages hoping for more gems...a cartoon about lesbian married couples here...a picture of Charles Kuralt with his mistress there...a footnote describing in detail the devotion a pet dog showed for his testator/master here...a picture of Scott and Laci Peterson there. Clearly this isn't your mother's textbook.

Wait what, it IS your mother's textbook? OMG!!

So, I called my Mom to shoot the [breeze] a few week ago and I was telling her how much I liked my Trusts & Estates textbook. She responded, "Ooooh, is it the one with the pictures?" Yes, I replied. Yes it is. She loved it too when she took the class ten years ago. Clearly, it's in the genes.

Now, trying to choose a suitable amusing passage out of a 1000 page textbook is not easy. I'll stick with my favorite then. This is the footnote about dog and owner. It's sad, but cool and pretty much sums up why I love the book and dogs:

"6. A letter from James C. McSween, Jr., the winning counsel in Taylor, to Robert H. Sitkoff, dated Oct. 9, 2008 reveals:

I inquired of Doris Holt, concerning the identity of "Muff" mentioned in the Will. It appears that this was a pet dog that [the testator] had for several years. She told me that the dog anxiously awaited his return from work late each night, and would anticipate his arrival by furiously moving from window to door at the usual hour. Muff became very despondent after the death of [the testator] and died within a few weeks."

My note in the margin? Just a big highlighted heart. Thanks, Dukeminier (sadly deceased), Sitkoff, and Lindgren. Your book has lightened up many a sad hour devoted to law school homework.

Ridiculously Good!

Interview Fail

As a 3L without a job, I'm forced to take interviews for jobs I don't really want. One of those interviews occurred today. Not good.

Bad sign number 1: neither interviewer was wearing a wedding ring. So yes, that's kind of weird that I check those sorts of things but it's a basic quality of life issue. If they're married, they have time for family and such. That's important to me. If not, they either got divorced because their work sucked so much or they were too busy to date. They seemed like they could have fit in either category. Not good.

Hold on, douchey 1L at 12 o'clock. Trying to impress table full of girls. I'm glad to see the torch of douchey 1L's has been passed on.

Bad sign number 2: the first interviewer saying that I'll be the most cultured person in their office. That might seem flattering but I think it shows a basic lack of worldliness which I find disconcerting.

Bad sign number 3: the second interviewer telling me that the interview will be conducted entirely as a hypothetical. I'm not totally opposed to hypotheticals but I'd rather answer questions about my background (which I find interesting).

Bad sign number 4: when the hypothetical revolved around areas of law that I have no recollection of! Ah, the joys of being a 3L and FORGETTING EVERYTHING YOU LEARNED DURING YOUR FIRST TWO YEARS OF LAW SCHOOL!!!

Bad sign number 5: when they told me, "don't tell me what we want to hear, tell us what you would actually do." I did that and it was pre-tty clear that they preferred the answer they wanted to hear. I'm cool with it though. They asked me a moral question and I gave them a moral answer that I will always stick by (the question was whether the Redskins rule. I answered "Of course!!!" Although, let's be honest, they suck).

I don't think I'll be getting a call back. But you know what? THEY WON'T BE GETTING A CALL BACK FROM ME EITHER!!! That's right, SUCK IT, JOB THAT I WON'T DISCLOSE ON MY BLOG!!!

Drowning in Pages...

Like all blogs, this will be a forum entirely devoted to whining. Right now, I'm in Oxford, England. It's beautiful, historic, inspiring, blah, blah, blah. But do you know what I spend my day doing? Reading about how horrible humans are to other humans around the world.

But Jonathan, you're in law school. This is a program run by your law school. You should have seen this coming.

Thanks, ya, I know. The thing is, when I'm in Foggy Bottom, I don't care that I don't have time to take a scenic walk to the GW Hospital Emergency Room or chow down at ABP. When I'm in freaking Europe, I want to drown myself in Pimm's and scale walls and shit. This is just wrong.

Dude, it can't be that bad.

Fine, you do my reading, you paternalistic bastard.

*Sigh*